When Your Mind Never Really Shuts Off

Anxiety doesn’t always look like panic.

Sometimes it looks like thinking about everything before it happens.

Often, the things we do to reduce anxiety temporarily are exactly what teach our brains that anxiety needs to be taken so seriously.

Anxiety Can Make Everything Feel Like a Problem to Solve

There are real problems in life that require planning.

And then there are hypothetical problems your mind wants you to solve before they exist.

Problem-solving helps you take action.

Worry keeps you circling the same question.

Therapy is about learning to recognize the difference between problem-solving and worry.

People-Pleasing and Anxiety Often Go Together

If you spend a lot of time worrying about how other people feel, you may have become accustomed to organizing your choices around their reactions.

You may agree to things you don’t want to do and then feel resentful.

You may avoid setting a boundary until you’re already overwhelmed.

You may soften your opinions, overexplain your decisions, or feel guilty whenever someone is unhappy with you.

This can look like kindness from the outside.

But sometimes it’s anxiety.

Therapy can help you distinguish between being considerate and feeling responsible for everyone else’s emotional experience.

Anxiety Often Shows Up as Overthinking

You may not think of yourself as “anxious.”

You may think you’re just an overthinker.

You replay things that happened earlier in the day.

You mentally rehearse conversations before having them.

You try to understand exactly why someone behaved a certain way.

Sometimes that thinking feels useful.

But often, it doesn’t produce clarity.

It just produces more thinking.

We’ll work on noticing when reflection has stopped being productive and when your mind is trying to use analysis to eliminate uncertainty.


Anxiety often asks you to organize your life around avoiding discomfort.

Choosing yourself means learning that anxiety gets to have an opinion without getting the final vote.

It means noticing what fear is asking you to do and asking yourself a different question:

What matters to me?

It’s to stop abandoning yourself every time anxiety tells you that someone else’s needs, expectations, or reactions should matter more than your own.

My approach to anxiety treatment